Sentimental Insecurities

 I feel like every time I see you we get farther and farther apart. Why is it like that I thought as we go along we're suppose to get closer but it's not happening. And now I have competition with someone who I so happen to despise because we're too different from each other and you seem to enjoy her company more than mine. It hurts okay! It hurts like hell. So I try hard to get other people's love which I get but only when I'm the only one there. Am I that depressing to be with? I know I'm not as cool as a lot of people but I do my best and I still feel sometimes that it's not enough.... Then everyone asks why I'm so unsatisfied with myself, well here's the answer I have never felt anyone appreciate who I am. I am always being compared and I'm always the one they find fault in. I hate it so fucking much I can't even say it out loud. I'm a person too and I deserve much better than how I am treated now. I wish things will start changing because I'm seriously getting depressed but not in the I'm gonna kill myself kinda way but in a I don't see anything pretty and worthy of your attention in me. My only consolation is that even through all this I've found a friend I completely trust and will not ever leave me in good and bad times! I have a funny family that'll never be ashamed of me even if I look like a pig! Uhhhhhh!!!!!!! I hate insecurities. I just has to let that out.... I know it went out of the main idea but WTH! YOLO... I want to start living life with no regrets and I want to be happy with what I have