The New Year's Resolution that never gets followed

I think not everyone does this anymore because they know they'll just break it after a few weeks/day/hours. But it's good to do this every year because then you have a goal you wish to achieve and a constant reminder that change is not always bad. It's the year of the Wood Horse this coming 2014, I think.... and I think this is signifies a new start for steadfastness in trying to achieve those resolutions. You have to be the change you wish to see, as cliche as that sounds.....
My New Year's Resolution

1. Eat healthy
2. Sleep at a decent hour
3. Lose weight
4. Stop cramming
5. Finish things due before going on Wattpad
6. Be more sociable
7. Take chances
8. Be more faithful 
9. Get higher grades so that I can get into a good college
10. Live,Love,Laugh

There's so much more but I leave it at that because I'll never end if I put down all the things I want to change about myself. I also think that too much can be overwhelming, and we won't do anything all together.... Happy New Year in advance!! :D Love you! spread the love!

The Rather Eventful Pre- Christmas

I've been MIA! It's a busy Christmas this year! I had to look for 3 exchange gifts plus the legit gifts for ze friends. But I'm happy and for an anti-social girl I to a lot of shiz..... 

DECEMBER 19: This the day we had our Christmas party. I got we had a Christmas party and Australian students happened to come over. I freakin' love their accents... Maybe I'll live there in the future and have get the accent.... Good plan? Methinks so.... Anyway back to my story, so in our exchange gift, my teacher got me and she gave me 3 pretty notebooks, I know it's kinda nerdy but  I love writing so that works. I gave my gift to the student council's treasurer, oh my! I know I had to live up to an expectations.So I had people ask around what she wanted.... and she's actually a foodie and wanted Airheads.... so I went ahead and got the her 3 packs of Airheads and threw in white chocolate Toblerone, I mean who doesn't like chocolates! And she loved it! Yay! and she hugged me, even if weren't close at all.... It wasn't that nice of a hug though cause she's so bony. UHHH! I'm so jealous that she can just eat so much and not gain weight at all. Anyway I had another exchange gift with my friends and but in ours, we had a new rule that, stealing was allowed... that means we put all the gifts in the middle and we pick out slot on who gets to pick first then they open it when everyone's done chosing, the stealing begins and the gift is allowed to be stolen 3 times before the gift is unstealable.... :) pretty cool huh? yeah only our group... :D I got a freakin' glow-in-the-dark journal... yay... and i initially got 2 black Sharpies which I really have no use for so yeah. I win!

DECEMBER 21: Friend's Assassin's Creed Promposal(she's a gamer). It was beautiful! and I totes ship it. they seem good for each other. Then we went to eat it a Japanese restaurant and we saw our friend actually interact with the opposite gender. Yay! and I met pretty nice people(boys) and one hot one but my friend already called dibs so no chance cause it's part of the girl code.... All in all a good day! I got a lot of sleep after that group lunch date. 

DECEMBER 22: I had to run to the stores because I only found out that we were having another exchange gift for taekwondo 2 days before and I had plans for Saturday and I picked a 14 year old dude, which I really stressing if you don't already know. I freakin' just went with my instincts and bought what guys usually like which made it way easier since I have two freakin' brothers, one who's 15 so it worked. I bought a watch, hair wax, and a pack of jelly beans. I thought, if he doesn't like this, he has to learn to like it. So there I go to the venue! And we get to swim! Yay! Of course, it's a heated pool because we'd freeze to death if it weren't. We took our annual picture in our taekwondo uniform and asked if my gift was okay and she gave me a thumbs up so I was able to breathe easier. After that, we were free to eat and swim! Yay! I mostly stayed in the shallow part with the little kids were there and they're so cute and the dude, let's name him Donut has a little brother that I absolutely adore, he's practically my baby so I stay with him because he's only allowed in the shallow part. But when I went to the deeper end, we played chicken fight, I tried being in the bottom once and my shoulder's hurt AF so I chose to just stay on my partner's shoulders. In the middle of it all, the master said it was time to give gifts out and guess who got first, me... Just my luck.... So I gave it to him and people started whooping, I'm like I'm like the big sister... nothing's ever gonna happen and he has a girlfriend so basically he was off limits, then it was his turn to give gifts.... and to my surprise, he also got me... More whooping... I wanted to flip them off but there were parents so I prolonged my patience. He got me a teddy bear.... How cliche... He didn't open his right away but he kept on peeking through the bag opening. Gahd! Just open it! I wanna yer reaction but no.... He almost wrecked the whole bag trying to figure it out. The mom happened to be nearby so I just told her the contents to save the bag's life. The mom told me he didn't want to open it because his older brother would try to get it apparently. His older brother was there but he was 19, I doubt he'd like it. I don't know the guy mind that much. 

Sharing is Caring

Hi! This is a humble pose because this week is almost over. I just survived 4 long tests(Chemistry, Trigonometry, Health, and Geometry), 1 per day Monday through Thursday, a dramatic adaptation of Macbeth, a cake making with design and frosting which we got 54/60 in(my teacher said that the filling was overpowered by the blueberries *insert sad face*) and a monologue. Yeah it's intense. But it's almost Christmas, what's a little sacrifice before the festivities? Right? So I posted this because I go here every time I feel down and hopeless and so dejected about everything happening in the world. 
It's http://www.givesmehope.com/ it's for optimists everywhere. If you're not one, it's never to late to start. This site shows simple acts that you'd think doesn't happen anymore because this world is too destroyed. It gives homage to those who still do kind acts and it is just a nice manifesto of appreciation for other people who bring light in this dim world. This site will make you think yet another time of how the world can be(bright side version). POSITIVITY IS THE KEY. Stay happy and cuddle and bundle to keep warm this season. GOODBYE.

P.S. Sorry if you find it lame. Maybe I'm just a tad bit cheesy.

HEY

Hey who ever gets to read this can we be friends please? I need cyber friends! I'm creepy in a way but may be I'm the friend you need? I'm getting my writer side hyped so that I an type up a paper on witchcraft for English. And it's good once in a while to take a break and talk... so if you guys want to talk or if you have nothing else to do.... you can talk to me.... omg did that sound too desperate? anyway whatever, I allow myself a bit of slack before diving headfirst to a mountain of workload due next week. They just had to pick this week to be hectic. Seriously, 4 long tests and a project and an english paper then term exams a week after. I need debriefing :P ..... Love you all for even coming across my blog it's much appreciated. Thank you so much! Have a nice weekend!

message me on tumblr!!! avllzcdo.tumblr.com or comment how we can communicate with each other(it won't be see publicly if i don't allow it and i won't because i should respect people's privacy). 

Revealing Moi.... Slowly but surely

My Fucking Weird Shit

So I have a confession to make... It's not that big of a confession... You probably guessed this ages ago. I'm a creeper. Like legit... I'm not even kidding. When I know a person long enough, I know their whole name and their birthday and I've already Facebook stalked you...Detective much. This is probably why I never had a person to text with for long. I'm always out to find out new information and that annoys them I think... But I don't really know how else I'm going to text about... I'm not the type to talk like 'hab u eaten? Cn I join u?' I'm a 'spell everything out and punctuate correctly' kind of texter. I also have a sleeping person fetish. I legit have it and it turns me on that all a person's defenses are gone and they look so young and vulnerable. I just love it and you can actually see how long their eyelashes are and see the imperfections and little things that you never notice when the person's awake because you get intimidated by their stance. The steady deep breathing so soothing and rhythmic you can't help but feel calm when you're around it. I want to be able to see the small splash of freckles or that little white scar. It's the best feeling for me, I love it. Sometimes, you can even sneak a sniff of him( I only did that once! I promise! It felt too awkward and people might get the wrong impression if they see me). I love that the person who sleeps on me is comfortable and is able to get rest he may be deprived from in other place or people. That's all it's a huge revelation but my reasons aren't gross or anything so I accept my weirdness. At least sometimes, I find myself fascinating... :)

Something New, Something Dangerous

I entitled this text this way because I really am scared. I have crushed on my Carrot but he's gone to Canada. I thought I'd never recover from it and i'll wait for him to come back because he's worth it. But recently, I asked a guy to prom. It's acceptable because I'm from an all girl's school and it would be so weird if a guy invited himself to my prom so I asked him. He is also my teammate in taekwondo... He's my junior though. And he said yes! YAY! I have a date to prom! One less thing to worry about... We're going as friends but lately I've been thinking about him and I'm getting confused!!! With Carrot, we were just always together we were kept each other company. We went for walks and he always brought me along to show me stuff but it wasn't a regular thing ang he made such a big deal about us holding hands. With the new one, let's name him Snapper... Yes as in the food you feed to cats because I like food so I replace my boys names with food even if I don't eat it. So back to the story.... With him, we didn't click at first... But we grew on to each other.... Mainly because of the common hate of my brother's huge ego. People thought right away that we were crushing on each other... (they even locked me in a room with him and we decided to give them a show and made some sounds... :P) The people were opened it again and they thought we did something... Being the sneaky people we were we winked at each other and that's when all hell broke loose... They thought we kissed and we did something... But we were just joking around inside.... We sit beside each other in trips all the time and when he's tired, he knows he can always lay his head on my shoulder or lap... I suck at narrating it! It's better if you actually see it. When we go to competitions, I'm the only one who can tie his armor because I'm his lucky charm(his words not mine).... And when I competed with him, he taught me a game so I would get bored and when I got bruised and injured, he never left me and he wiped away my tears. You might as well say we complement each other... But I'm still so confused because Carrot actually confessed through his brother but I'm not sure about Snapper and lastly, I'm scared it'll ruin our friendship... :(

30 Weird Things I Notice About People

Well this is a weird list but I was bored so I made it.... This is more of my guy list so LOL.... I know this kinda sounds stalkerish but I I really do! I'm super observant about everything.... I legit even know the birthday of the people of my whole batch. That's kinda why I have vivid descriptions for almost anything. Here's the list and trust me when I say when I'm your friend, I know all those things about you.

1. Your eye color
2. If you have dimples
3. The many smiles you have
4. How you hold your pen and what hand you use
5. The length of your eyelashes
6. Your voice range
7. Your personal bubble
8. The people you're comfortable with
9. How you text
10. Pet names you use 
11. Your favorite food
12. Your musical taste
13. Your likes and dislikes
14. Your favorite candy
15. Your Internet addiction
16. The girls you find hot
17. Your clothes style
18. The perfume you use
19. Your sense of humor
20. Your jersey number
21. Your laugh
22. Your sleepy voice
23. How easy you fall asleep
24. Your ships/fandoms
25. Your sibling love
26. Your favorite movie/book
27. Your sport
28. Your passcode lock
29. The way you treat everyone
30. YOU....

Those Days Extraordinaire

It's so annoying when there are days that are so chill and then the next day they pile up like shit. I mean, bitches please! We have a life to balance... It's super nice to have time to bum around but it's absolutely horrifying have a bunch of workload thrown down at your shoulders. like now, I'm bumming but yesterday I had to get ready for thesis defense, study for Geom long exam and a Theology quiz. Sorry for ranting but you know. This is the only way I vent out my feelings because I don't really talk to anyone that much. :) But in generally, it's been a nice day! they picked me to write an act from Macbeth... lol me.... I did all the things due tomorrow and we have 2 quizzes tomorrow so yay!

Abnormality is a Normality

Is that a fact? Maybe. It's a beautiful paradox though....

Abnormality is a normality
Let me give you some clarity
It's in all the changes
It's loosened society's hinges
How so? you ask.
Virtues now we lack.
It's gone down the drain
With dignity right on it's train.
Why is this happening?
What we've been longing,
We are now abusing.
Freedom and choice,
Gave us a voice
But the songs we sing
Are sad and sickening.
About a world lost at sea.
Are we really ready for this responsibility?
Let's wait and see.

The Wrath of Junior Year

From the title, you probably know what year I am and my age but I really need to write about it because it's a f*cking annoying year. This year, we have 2 Maths which is bad enough but  we also have Philosophy with a Kenyan teacher. Not to offend any nationality but being from another country just makes it harder. Her accent is super hard to understand and she expects too much because she's used to giving this much work to her students but hell she's in our country. She should be more lenient and understanding. Don't even get me started on my History teacher. She's all about tradition and it's simply annoying. She asks for so much!!! SOCRATIC METHOD, DEBATES, THESES, AND MOTHERF*CKIN' HISTORY ARCHIVE. She said it's because she doesn't give us homework but heck, I can handle having homework everyday than all those requirements. HE's pretty cool we're baking but I personally hate group works and that's all we do. I love English because I can actually understand Shakespeare now because our teacher's so cool. But I must say Chem is the best subject EVER! It's so mathematical I love it(I only hate Geom). To top it off, everyone's talking about prom and guess what our theme is, VENICE! Yeah! pretty cool and pretty pricey. Everyone's doing promposals and designing their dresses and it's so cray!!! I've been losing sleep but hey, it's part of the experience I guess! When I survive this year, I'll sail in senior year! Yay.... Then Uni! Ahhh..... Everything's so fast but I cannot wait to get out of this school of plastic rich kids.... xx

Dreams of the Painfully Shy 2

The whole family comes home with me so we can have dinner together. I already told the maid to cook a lot of native dishes because they prolly miss it. We gather to the living room and they drop their cases there... "Let's eat first and I hope you guys brought empty stomach because the maid cooked enough for a small army". And there we go chatting away like they never left. I asked if they wanted to stay for the night as I was seeing the effects of their jet lag already. We had 5 guest rooms.... Ferret and Llama could stay together and the others could have room each. After they settled down I asked the boys if they wanted to go to  the play room. Guppy and Mouse scrambled to get up while Cricket just shook his head. I nodded and led the other two to the play room. It was literally complete with everything. The boys were so into their game that I slipped away to talk to Cricket, he's the one I missed the most to tell you the truth. I opened the door a little... "Are you busy?". He shook his head and waved me in. When I got close enough, I was shocked when he pulled me into a hug. I thought I was gonna melt. He always did have the best hugs. Not that I compared it to everyone else's.... Okay you caught me but you have to swear to the River Styx, never to mention it again! It was just like old times... We were in his bed because he was tired and dizzy but he could still stay up for a little chat. We held hands and told each other stories. And we were laughing around for about two hours with me constantly rubbing circles on his hand. I glanced his way and saw how heavy lidded he was. I continued rubbing circles in his hand and slowly faded my voice out when I finished the story.. And when I looked again, his eyes were closed and his eyelashes fanned over his cheeks. I waited ten minutes just to be sure he was asleep then I tucked him in better and planted a kiss on his forehead whispering, "Sleep well, love". I went back to the game room and found Mouse sleeping in the couch and Guppy constantly yawning. "Guys, I think it's time to go to bed, you can play tomorrow". Guppy shut the console and carried Mouse to his room. We tucked him in turned off his light. Then Guppy hugged me goodnight and went to his room. I went to my own bed and fell asleep right away. I was knackered. I woke up mighty refreshed. I went down to the kitchen. As expected no one was up yet... They were all sleeping  off their jet lag.

Sentimental Insecurities

 I feel like every time I see you we get farther and farther apart. Why is it like that I thought as we go along we're suppose to get closer but it's not happening. And now I have competition with someone who I so happen to despise because we're too different from each other and you seem to enjoy her company more than mine. It hurts okay! It hurts like hell. So I try hard to get other people's love which I get but only when I'm the only one there. Am I that depressing to be with? I know I'm not as cool as a lot of people but I do my best and I still feel sometimes that it's not enough.... Then everyone asks why I'm so unsatisfied with myself, well here's the answer I have never felt anyone appreciate who I am. I am always being compared and I'm always the one they find fault in. I hate it so fucking much I can't even say it out loud. I'm a person too and I deserve much better than how I am treated now. I wish things will start changing because I'm seriously getting depressed but not in the I'm gonna kill myself kinda way but in a I don't see anything pretty and worthy of your attention in me. My only consolation is that even through all this I've found a friend I completely trust and will not ever leave me in good and bad times! I have a funny family that'll never be ashamed of me even if I look like a pig! Uhhhhhh!!!!!!! I hate insecurities. I just has to let that out.... I know it went out of the main idea but WTH! YOLO... I want to start living life with no regrets and I want to be happy with what I have

Dreams of the Painfully Shy

I was in another room when something caught my eye, why were my taekwondo buddies crowding in there... But then I saw a brown mop tower all of them... Could it be Cricket? Curiosity got the best of me and i just had to find out... With a spark of hope in my heart, I went over... When our eyes met, I knew it was him. I knew those hazelnut brown eyes anywhere. They burned in my memory even after four years.... It was Cricket.... Probably a whole head taller but undeniably him... I probably only come up to his shoulder now but it was same floppy brown hair I used to imagine running my fingers through. After absorbing all of him, I couldn't stand it anymore...I ran to him and wrapped my arms around him, "Cricky I missed you so much". He hugged me back pulling me closer than I thought was humanly possible.... "I missed you more Teacup" he mumbled to my hair.. He kissed the top of my head and I stood on my tippy toes to kiss his cheek. He chuckled and gave me a squeeze... That's when I realized, he wasn't so thin anymore...I mean I wasn't fat anymore but I wasn't a stick. I pulled away and saw long lean muscles. Subtle but present. He let me go so I could hug my Guppy and my Mouse.... I missed them so much.... And they were so big already... Then everything settled down, me and my Cricky were left alone. Just happy to be in each other's presence once again... Then I woke up.... And I couldn't go back to the dream :(



PS: names were not given out because of privacy's sake