Post-Anime Musings

So  I just finished the anime Toradora! It's old, just one season, 25 episodes. I've seen bits of it in the past but never in its entirety. I grabbed the chance when I saw it on Netflix not to long ago and I just finished it a while ago.

A not-so typical coming of age anime but I really liked it, especially the ending. The ending almost had me in tears. I would have been in tears had I finished the anime at home and not in public transport. 

I really liked the imagery and the lessons and the complexities, it felt real and relatable. I was stunned that it hit me that hard, I thought it'd be pretty light and in some ways it is but the delivery and timing of the lessons and the truths just hit you right in the feels. I kinda don't want to say a lot because I want people to discover it on their own but at the same time I want to geek out and I don't think a lot of my friends would appreciate it. 

A+ character development

A+ story line

SO I'M JUST GOING TO SHARE THE TRUTHS THAT HIT ME SO HARD

1. Get a person who sees past all your fronts and accepts the good, the bad, and the ugly and stays. No one in this anime is perfect but they see each other for who they truly are and keeps everyone in check. It's not easy but it helps everyone. They're there for each other and they know when they need to knock some sense into someone. I think that's really important. You can only do this if you pay attention. You have look closely and see so that you know exactly who the person is. Also, talk. Life would be so much easier if people communicated better. It puts things in perspective and to see beyond what you see and seeing the person at his or her core is the best way to know how to love him or her. 

2. Work towards what you want.  In this movie, the main guy wanted the main girl to see each other as equals that they see eye-to-eye. In the process, they got to know each other, they got what they truly wanted and they fell in love. No way was it easy, no way were there no hiccups, no way did things just click. It showed gradual change, warming up to each other, and the ending was inevitable. It was whole boatload of emotion and you just have to be grateful that the characters are strong. 

3. Love never runs out.  You may not find it in our family. You may not feel it right away but it's always there. It surrounds you. It saves you. It keeps you alive. So give it unconditionally, without hesitation because people need it. It's everyone's lifeline so keep at it!

Names I Love

If you're anything like me, you probably have names for your children already. Like, names that are non-negotiable so they WILL be what you call your children. And while I don't want to have 20 children, I have 20 boy names I love and 20 girl names I love. I hope to be able to get married name my kids some of these names 

Boys

1. Jacob
2. Lucas
3. Francesco
4. Alexander
5. Noah
6. Trent
7. Andrew
8. Elliot
9. Micah
10. Ezra
11. Gabriel
12. Marco
13. Lorenzo 
14. Marco
15. Cedric
16. Kyle
17. Christopher
18. Adrian
19. Enrico
20. Joaquin

Girls

1. Catherine
2. Cyril
3. Jordan
4. Kennedy
5. Lauren
6. Diana
7. Ava
8. Louise
9. Isobel
10. Adriana
11. Charlotte
12. Hope
13. Marie
14. Lilian
15. Iris
16. Lyca
17. Trinity
18. Natasha
19. Sarah
20. Olivia

FATSHAMING

PRE-BLOG

This is a rant because my brother was an asshole to me. This might have a lot of fire because I'm fucking angry. I am 18 years old. I am 5'2". I am 170 lbs. That's to get it out of the way. YES. I am fat. Overweight. Obese, even. That's me. 

BLOG

I'm fat. FACT.

I should lose weight. FACT

I need to stick to a regime for things to actually work. FACT(and important)

BUT,

that doesn't mean, I'm ugly.

that doesn't mean, I'm less of a person.

that doesn't mean, I'm going to just take it when people talk shit about me. 

_________________________________________________________________
A while ago, my brother asked me:


 "How can you look at yourself in front of the mirror when you look like that?"

I shot him down. (Don't worry, I'm not the type to cower.)

I told him: 

"I can look at myself in front of the mirror because I know that there is more to me than just what you can see in front of a mirror."

He backed down a bit but still had the nerve to add:

"But wouldn't it be nice to look good?"

I said: 

"Physical appearance doesn't amount to much if you go out in the real world"
_________________________________________________________________

Why I was so pissed?

It irked me because my younger brother said that in front of my other brother and 2 ladies who we don't know.

 If you wanted to talk trash, you should have just told me. You don't have to share it to the whole world. 

Another reason why I was pissed is because he has never been fat in his life so he doesn't know how hard it is to lose weight.

This "tough love" shit you're pulling is not working. If anything, you're cultivating a negative energy that makes it hard to be motivated and encouraged. 

Lastly, it pissed me that just because he's naturally smarter and looks better, he can talk shit.

FUCK NO. YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE WHO'S SO DAMN PROUD. YOUR PRIDE IS SO FUCKING HIGH, I DON'T KNOW HOW IT REACHED THAT HIGH. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THAT AND BRINGING PEOPLE DOWN WON'T MAKE YOU LOOK ANY MORE ATTRACTIVE.

I can look at myself in the mirror because I'm not ashamed of myself, I can honestly say, I kinda love myself. I love the person I am and I don't need you to tell me I'm ugly and fat. 

You make it so hard for me to love you even if you're my brother. All you care about is that everyone in the family is supposed to look picture perfect. Tell you what, a picture is worth a thousand words and each person will look at a picture differently so trying to fit into a "perfect" spectrum will not do anything. 

I'm unique. I'm me. 

I will lose weight. I will do it because I want to NOT because I listened to all the shit thrown at me. I want to be a healthy person. Mentally, physically and emotionally. 

FUCK WHAT THE SOCIETY THINKS.

My contributions in this world is not going to measured on what I look like and what I see in the mirror. 

I can do way better than that. 

Julia Quinn Book Obsession

I have been a bookworm for the entirety of my life. (At least, from what I remember.). I would say I read an array of genres that help in making me a diverse(ish) reader. One thing I can't deny though is, I have an unhealthy obsession. Julia Quinn books, the Bridgerton series in particular. I guess they're the typical love stories you would read all about that make you warm and fuzzy but they're short with compromising the character or plot development which I think is very crucial especially if we're talking about a series.

The Bridgerton series is set in the Victorian times wherein people went out in society and partied, most of the ladies looking for a husband and the young bachelors being forced to look around by their mothers. (Lol I'm so happy I don't need to go through this). Most of the time, they got married for political or business reasons but sometimes, it's a love match and that's just beautiful to see in the society that time.

Society treats everyone differently, good thing, the Bridgertons are influential and popular without being standoffish. The series talk about the Bridgerton siblings: Anthony, Benedict, Colin, Daphne, Eloise, Francesca, Gregory, and Hyacinth (yes, that's alphabetical, I loved it too.). They are the children of the Viscountess Violet Bridgerton who will do anything, anything at all to see them off, all married to respectable people (and what a plight it would be).

Of course since there are 8 children, there are 8 books.

My personal favorites are: The Duke and I and The Viscount who Loved Me. I would tell you why, but I would get too excited and give the whole story away but yeah I super recommend those 2 books out of the 8, not that the other 6 are bad, I just prefer the way the story went for these 2 books. 

Here's the correct order of reading:(I mean, they can be read separately but this is for maximum enjoyment)

1. The Duke and I

2. The Viscount who Loved Me

3. An Offer from a Gentleman

4. Romancing Mister Bridgerton

5. To Sir Phillip with Love

6.When He was Wicked

7.It's in His Kiss

8. On the Way to the Wedding 

Though those 2 books are my favorite, my favorite character is not the main character in those stories. My favorite is Colin Bridgerton. He is a nice, charismatic traveler who travels a lot and eats a lot. He is a closeted writer and he is absolutely hilarious(which pertains to a level of intelligence because you can't be hilarious without a little bit of intelligence). He is often misunderstood though but he figures out how to deal with it later and this man is just WOW. You could compare him to Mr. Darcy but he's a little nicer. 

Anyway, start reading! 

Warning though, there are some sex scenes( but they're not super smutty). 

I'm Not the Type of Girl Guys Like to Date

This isn't self-pity, this is, rather, self-awareness. I've just come to notice it so much now that I'm immersed in a new environment in university. Here are some reasons why:

- I'm too big sister/mom-like (I always remind people what to do and supply them with stuff they need like: paper, answers to homework, etc.)

- I'm a know-it-all (because I know for a fact that I'm smart, it's just that sometimes, it comes across as me correcting too many things and overanalyzing, to the point of nitpicking.

- I'm a creepy stalker apparently... (I have really good memory that keeps information in my head as long as I actually listen well so when facts about a certain person is asked and I remember the answer to that question. I come off as creepy)

- I'm boyish af (Being raised alongside 2 boys can do that to you. Along with a jock dad and a tomboy-ish mother.  I really don't know how to be feminine, even if I studied in an all girls school, boyish is just part of my nature.)

- I'm everyone's friend (I treat everyone the same. And I'm immediately at home with people most of the time. No one knows if I like them better than the next person because I'm too friendly to everyone. I guess that does make me hard to read)

- I have high standards (I don't like to settle. I really have a particular list of attributes that I cannot ignore when it comes to people I date)

- I come off as too strong  ( I look like the type that doesn't need a man to keep me happy or a person who relies on a man too much. And while that is true, I just don't want to be belittled because of my gender. I can't stand sexism. But not going to lie, I love it when a guy is a little chivalrous)

- I'm fat ( This not really a factor why someone would opt not to date me but it becomes one because of all the things previously mentioned.

Maybe there are more reasons why, maybe less but that's just what I think. I'm not saying goodbye to the possibility of dating and getting married but I'll come to terms with whatever comes my way. I'm not about to change myself to get other people to like me. They need to accept all of me and understand that change is inevitable and everyday, we grow into the people we're supposed to be.

Someone Who Loves You or Someone You Love?

My mom asked me if I had a boyfriend and I outright said, No. Not that I'm not into dating or being with someone but I'm not exactly looking for it either. I think some things are not meant to be chased. This situation is where the "Good things come to those who wait" quote applies. But then this led us to more thought provoking, situation skewing questions. One of them being: Who would you choose, someone who loves you or someone who you love? This is not saying that you don't love the other person or the other person doesn't love you, this means that in one relationship, which is better to have and deal with and stay with forever? Someone you love but he/she loves you more or someone loves you but not as much as you love him. 

My mom told me why she thinks that it is better to have someone who loves you more than you love them. She said: "When that guy loves you more, you won't be a puppy who follows everything he says even if you don't want to do it. He will respect you and cherish you without end and you'll learn to love him just as much. Loving someone who already loves you so much is so much easier to reciprocate. That working hard every single day just to show the other person your worth and still getting half-assed results. It's less likely that you'll get your heart broken and together you can create a family and show them how love moves people to do things at extraordinary measures."

I told my mom that while these were all true, love isn't about convenience. It's about everything else. Hardships,ups and downs, thrills, giddiness,a work-in-progress, and ton of other stuff that can't be put to words. That's why so many people choose to love someone more than the other loves them. They want to work hard and do whatever it takes to make it happen because the fruit of all of those is requited with love from someone they love above and beyond. The journey to getting there is what will make the love story so much more amusing and awesome to share. Of course, there are more risks in this love but some people are worth taking risks for. Sometimes, it won't work out but when it does, it's magical and that's LEGIT. 

I really don't know though, right now I'd rather be the person who loves the other more. When the time comes when I have a serious boyfriend or whatever, I don't know how it'll be but, with my ever active brain stuff, I think I'll be just fine. Mind over heart. 

What is the Line?

Being a Facebook user and seeing different kinds of people post some stuff, you can't help but notice that some people just don't know the difference of standing up for what you believe in and stooping down to your offender's level. Sometimes I feel like people do both but sometimes I feel like "Yeah that was good time to intervene and give the person a piece of your mind". I just can't say the same when people complain about the pettiest, smallest things that can be overlooked or need not be posted on Facebook or any social network for that matter.

I say this because we have to be responsible with the things we post and exercise our freedom of speech properly. I've been thinking about this because some people do not know the effect of the things they post and are just stupid about it. Take one of my Facebook friends who was overcome by emotion because he overheard some lady talking shit about his grandmother so he takes it to the internet and just writes out all his feelings and telling his Facebook friends to share the post with the lady's picture in it and it just turned me off because he did not take it like a man and he was bitching about it for everyone to see. It was annoying, it took all my willpower not to comment on the post asking him to take it down. I didn't though because we're not close and it was really none of my business. 

The other type is just standing up for what you believe in which happened when someone shared about a guy not giving up his seat in the subway when there was a girl standing up. She called the guy out for doing so and saying he was unattractive and ending the post with "CHIVALRY IS DEAD". It was rude and I was so happy to see that people were defending the guy saying that there is still chivalry but there was no need to call out a guy for not giving his seat up for a girl. It's 2015(almost 2016), there's a thing called equality so people should stop being bigots and just accept things wholly, not just the parts that work in their favor. I personally commented on it too but almost all the comments written had the same stuff I wanted to voice out so even if there are some cases when people forget the line but I'm glad more people recognize it. 

This is just my opinion and take on things and I just needed to voice it out so here I am. Have a nice day! and Advance Merry Christmas!